This text is not educational, nor is it intended to be life advice. It is based solely on my own experience with the medicine of ayahuasca in
Peru over the course of 12 years, as well as on observing participants at the center.

Perception is a state of consciousness, and each participant will have their own visions according to what their subconscious holds in their cellular memories, as well as their cultural, family, emotional, and spiritual beliefs.

As the ceremony unfolds, the mind begins to open doors that may have remained closed for years. Opening those doors can be painful. Some lead to memories, wounds, traumas, fears, or emotions one believed had already been overcome. Others lead to unknown places, where human language is not enough to explain what is felt, what is seen, or what is understood.

Visions do not always appear visually. Sometimes they manifest as symbols, sensations, expressions, memories, emotions, or inner understandings that arrive without words.

Ayahuasca, in my experience, does not always arrive as a loving mother or as a celestial light. Sometimes it arrives as an implacable mirror. A mirror that allows no lies, justifications, or masks. There, facing oneself, both the medicine and the poison may appear: the ally or the executioner.

Over these years, I came to understand that not all ceremonies are the same, and not everyone goes through the same process. Some find peace, clarity, and reconciliation. Some face deep pain, confusion, or fear. And some believe they have found answers, when in reality, they have only opened more questions.

For me, ayahuasca has been a hard and wise teacher. It showed me parts of myself that I did not want to see or that I tried to hide. It led me to recognize old wounds, repeated patterns, inherited guilt, and emotions hidden behind the appearance of strength. But it also taught me that healing does not always mean feeling good. Sometimes healing hurts. Sometimes healing disrupts everything before revealing any sense of meaning.

That is why I ask myself: was it my ally or my executioner?

Perhaps it was both.

It was an ally when it allowed me to look with greater awareness at my story, my shadows, and my decisions. It was an executioner when it confronted me mercilessly with what I was avoiding. It was medicine when it helped me let go. It was a storm when it stirred up parts of me I was not yet ready to understand.

After 12 years, I cannot speak of ayahuasca as a magical solution or as a path meant for everyone. I can only speak from my own lived experience. And from there, I understand that each experience depends on the emotional, mental, spiritual, and energetic state of the person who sits before it.

Ayahuasca does not invent everything it shows.

Many times, it reveals what was already inside. It amplifies it, symbolizes it, and turns it into a vision, a sensation, a message, or a confrontation. But what each person does with that after the ceremony is perhaps the most important part of the path.

Because the true ceremony does not end when the chanting stops or when calm returns to the body. The true ceremony continues in daily life, in our decisions, in the way we relate to others, and in the way we integrate what was seen, felt, and learned.

Today, I can say that ayahuasca was not only my ally, nor only my executioner. It was a threshold: a portal into my own abysses and also toward my own light. And like every portal, crossing it came at a price: to stop being who I thought I was and begin to see who I was truly being.

Ayahuasca can be an ally when we stop fighting our inner battles and allow ourselves to recognize the vulnerability that lives within us, as well as the different forms of the ego. Those parts are not enemies; they are there for a reason. Perhaps they were born to protect us, to sustain us, or to help us survive in moments when we did not know how to do so in any other way.

But it can also become an executioner when, even after seeing ourselves clearly, we resist change. When we look at our shadows and, not liking what we see, we choose to blame the world for everything that happens to us instead of assuming responsibility for our own lives.

We come to live this human experience, but many times, we fight against ourselves instead of recognizing ourselves as divine beings walking an imperfect path. Perhaps that is where the true medicine begins: not in the vision, not in the ceremony, not in the plant, but in the daily decision to look at ourselves with honesty, to stop running away from ourselves, and to learn how to inhabit our own truth.

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We would be delighted to welcome you to our sanctuary, where experienced shamans and facilitators will guide you through sacred ceremonies and rituals with reus at the Flower of Life Ayahuasca Healing Center for an unforgettable experience in the heart of Peru’s Amazonian Rainforest. Embrace the opportunity to reconnect with yourself, nature, and the sacred traditions of the jungle, and embark on a journey of self-discovery and empowerment. We look forward to walking this path with you and supporting you on your quest for healing and transformation.

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