Ayahuasca and How I Found My Path to Healing

Ayahuasca is a traditional Amazonian drink that has been used for centuries by indigenous communities for spiritual and healing purposes. My journey toward healing began in a moment of deep pain and desolation, following a divorce after 22 years of marriage. I never imagined that witnessing my ex-husband in a new relationship would awaken an immense void within me, leaving me with a profound sense of abandonment—as if something vital had died inside.

In those moments of confusion, I struggled to understand what I now know. That turmoil led me to believe I no longer wanted to live, feeling deep down that I had failed as a wife and mother, unable to provide my children with the home, happiness, and stability I had longed for throughout my life. In such instances, no comfort can truly heal a wounded heart.

In search of more questions than answers, I decided to travel to the Amazon jungle in Iquitos, Peru—a country I had left 36 years ago when I moved to the United States at 18. Little did I know that this trip back in 2014 would unfold into a nearly ten-year journey of discovering the esoteric world of ancestral medicine. It was here that I encountered medicinal plants, including ayahuasca, and made the decision to embark on an experience that would profoundly transform my life.

I purchased a 56-acre plot of land in the Amazon jungle, three hours from the city of Iquitos, and began building a sanctuary where my heart could finally find the peace and harmony it had never known. Thus began my most profound journey into my inner self.

Alone and in pain, I became the architect of my destiny, designing and constructing a home over 18 months with the help of local indigenous artisans.
They had never been involved in the creation of sacred geometry architecture and together we created a structure aligned with cardinal points in relation to the cosmos and the stars. This home now serves as a refuge for many who visit us each year: the Flower of Life Ayahuasca Healing Center.

The Preparation

Before participating in a ceremony, I immersed myself in studying ayahuasca, its effects, and the importance of having a clear intention. It was my last resort after years of struggling with depression, anxiety, and health disorders like lupus rheumatoid arthritis.
It took me two years to reach this decision, during which I met many Shipibo shamans—expert healers of the master plants—in Iquitos, Peru. However, none inspired the trust I needed to fully surrender to the sacred medicine. I had doubts about how ayahuasca would affect my mind and body. I understood that mental and spiritual preparation is crucial; following a special diet and practicing meditation are recommended to truly open oneself to the experience.

The Ceremony

Upon arriving at the ceremony site, the atmosphere felt sacred and filled with respect. The silence, the sounds of the Amazon rainforest, and the presence of the Shipibo shaman, Enrique, created a safe environment. I sat on the floor on a mat and took a deep breath, waiting for my turn to receive the brew he would offer me. When I consumed the drink, I experienced an uncomfortable taste, though not unpleasant. Without immediate effects, an hour later, I began to see, with my eyes open, an unimaginable parallel world.
I felt myself unfolding in the maloka and saw my essence everywhere; I could sense the shaman’s presence surrounding me. It was as if a multidimensional space opened up that I could only experience through the effects of DMT. I have been very psychic and intuitive since childhood, but this experience profoundly transformed my perception of reality.

The next day, it felt as if a great spiritual surgery had taken place; a cellular regeneration had occurred, and the presence of my guides felt stronger than ever. We are never alone, even when we think we are. In this vast world, we inhabit different realities; the present, past, and future are merely constructs of the ego trying to craft its own narrative.

The Experience

During the most intense moments, I confronted uncertainty, fears, and traumas. Ayahuasca guided me on an introspective journey where I faced my shadows. Although it was painful, it was also liberating. I began to understand the roots of my problems and to forgive both others and myself. I realized that I am neither innocent nor guilty, and I should not place blame on anyone for what happens in my life.

It took several ceremonies for me to grasp the origin of my being and the purpose of my experiences, both favorable and challenging. The message was clear: I needed to live within my consciousness, reflecting on my thoughts to awaken. If I continued to focus solely on the exterior aspects of life, I would remain unconscious and asleep.

The Healing

After the ceremony, I experienced profound peace. The journey allowed me to reconnect with my essence and understand that healing is a continuous process. Ayahuasca is not a magical solution but a powerful tool that opened the door to a new path, reminding me that I can be vulnerable, emotional, and adaptable without self-judgment. For months, I abstained from all types of meat, becoming a vegetarian and choosing foods that supported my optimal health and well-being. I developed a deep respect for all living beings, wishing to honor that sentiment in my heart. I recognize that my body is conscious, and every organ deserves reverence, as my cells strive to remain clean and pure for survival.

Final Reflections

Today, I reflect on my experience with gratitude. Ayahuasca provided me with clarity and a renewed sense of purpose. My path toward healing continues, and at 54 years old, I am completely healthy, cultivating good habits, observing my thoughts and reactions, and nurturing myself with appreciation. The idea of creating a space where others could heal emerged in my mind, and I decided it had to become a reality: the Flower of Life Ayahuasca Healing Center. This place became my home for a long time, where I learned that we are all equal, regardless of our background, country, race, or economic status. We all share a common goal: to be happy.

If you consider exploring this path, approach it with respect and an open mind.

I hope my story inspires others to seek their own path toward healing.

By Nancy Rosadio