It’s been a little over a month since I returned from a 28-day retreat, deep in the Peruvian Amazon jungle. When I say this to literally anyone, people are perplexed, curious, afraid, judgmental, opinionated, confused and shocked. Then, there are those that resonate with such a decision and want to know why I did it and express their desire to embark on such a journey. Those are the seekers. The adventurers. The curious. The ones excited to awaken. The ones ready to head the call, as did I. I write this for you.
The jungle was not high on my priority list to visit in my life. Actually, the Amazon Jungle was at the bottom of the list, especially since my husband and I spent many hours watching Naked and Afraid on the National Geographic Channel. The storyline of two strangers, being plopped down in a foreign, harsh environment without clothes, food, water or supplies. The ones that ended up in the Amazon, typically “tapped out”, and couldn’t finish the challenge as the harshness of the jungle overtook them. This is what my view of the jungle consisted of: heat, humidity, critters, misery. I thought these things of the Amazon. I thought these things….
Until I went to the jungle. Until I confronted my self in the Amazon.
This was my fourth time returning to the jungle, but my first solo retreat. The other visits were with small and larger groups and for a shorter duration. The Shamans informed me I needed a longer time with the jungle, the medicine and the Shamanic healing. When sickness overtook me again, I made the decision, about 10 days out, to accept the invitation given me by the Shamans and Nancy, of Flower of Life Retreats.
My back was against the wall. I knew I needed something BIG to change the trajectory of my life. I knew I needed a level of healing that I had not experienced as of yet. I knew I would find answers to my questions in the solitude of Ancient Plant Medicine and the jungle. So, to Lakshmi Eco-Lodge I went. Again. This time, though, I would stay for just shy a month. No television, no internet, no distractions. Just me and the healing I needed.
I’ve learned the jungle is a special place. There are many healing and special places around the world, for this I am sure. However, this place, the people, the caregivers, the Shamans and the Amazon Plants have saved my life. Literally.
Systemic Sclerosis (Diffuse Scleroderma), became my unwanted companion for the entirety of my adult life. We now know that this disease came with me early, at the tender age of 4. With scars on my skin on my right leg to prove it, we can see the damage from those early years. Always the sensitive one, always fighting something was the theme of my life. With pregnancy in my 20s, the onset into the more difficult version of this disease began. It took 15 years to discover and receive a diagnosis, that I was suffering with this rare, unwanted illness. Years of doctors visits, tens of thousands of dollars, tons of bed rest, and every modality of healing and stoned turned, I found my way here. To Peru. To the Amazon. To the jungle. To the Shamans. To my healing.
I knew that to heal, I must deep dive into my emotional wounds and traumas, my patterns of thinking, my spiritual health and my energetic body. I’ve worked on myself since the beginning, always seeking the answers that would lead to my healing, awareness and enlightenment. There was a blindspot. For this, I knew for sure.
We all have that. A blindspot. These blindspots show up in our relationship stories, money woes, unhappiness, health issues, and in many other ways. I was ready to face my personal blindspot.
My retreat to the jungle happened at just the right moment! If I hadn’t been so sick, I would have put it off. I’m so grateful for the numerous infections and debilitating pain I was experiencing, for it forced me to face my self, my illness and what it would take to heal at the root.
I was welcomed by the incredible staff at Lakshmi, and met up with Nancy in Iquitos to begin the healing journey together. I am so grateful for Nancy! She has the most amazing healing gifts and incredibly generous heart. She is always there for me now, and was by my side throughout my healing journey!
Arriving at Lakshmi is a treasure in my heart! The staff who maintain this paradise in the Amazon are the hardest working, lovely staff I’ve encountered. There is nothing they won’t do for their guests! Walking up the steps to the lodge felt like I was coming home. Seeing the smiles of the staff at Laksmi assured me that I was amongst my extended family.
Knowing my condition ahead of time, there was plant medicine awaiting me upon my arrival. A liver tonic. A bright colored, green drink that I downed the minute I stepped into the lodge. Let the healing commence!
My days were consumed with medicines from the jungle, fresh fruit and veggies, tropical fruit smoothies, fresh fish from the Amazon, and other jungle delicacies. The produce just tastes so much better in the Amazon.. Even the oatmeal and scrambled eggs taste better! Every day I had a specialized menu and medicines that would cleanse me inside and out.
The grounds at the lodge are immaculate and gorgeous. Many walks among the gardens with the butterflies, hummingbirds, tropical birds, frogs and other creatures enlivened my experience in the jungle. I felt a connection to all of nature in a deeper way. I could feel the soul of the jungle and I welcomed it! I could feel the jungle saying, “We are healing you already”. For, I learned a lesson I had recently forgotten, nature heals.
Along with daily medicines specialized for me, I experienced many Ayahuasca ceremonies to get to the root of the problem with me. The “Grandmother of All Medicines” knows how to heal in a way that nothing else possibly could. The Ayahuasca removes the energies that cause the dis-ease in the first place. She indicated to me that those energies were removed. About
halfway through the retreat, my Shaman told me the root of the disease was out and gone, never to return. She described what she saw and told me that now is the time for healing of the wounds left behind. The damage the illness caused was body wide, from my brain to the bottom of my feet. Little did she know I had spots on my brain indicated from a recent MRI, a cyst in my brain, scarring on every organ and blood vessel, tendon, ligament and muscle in my body. She did not know that I was losing mobility in my joints, or that I felt inflamed all the time, no matter what. She didn’t see me like in an anatomy book. She could see my energetic body. She sees way past the physical and into the dimensions where we store these energies, wounds and traumas.
I learned quickly that everything is energy. My thoughts, worries, over-analyzing, which all contributed to my dis-ease and dis-harmony. Working with Nancy to be more present, to allow things to be, plus many countless hours of spiritual discussion and work together, amplified my healing and would ensure my recovery. Thank you, Nancy!!
Staying in the jungle for a month unwinds the mind, releases the toxins of stress, cures anxiety and brings a state of presence and peace within that is a visceral transformation. I know my voice is different, my reactions are different, my focus is transcended. I have a clarity I did not have. I have a mission that is clearly set before me. I have the ability to set boundaries and see things from a higher perspective. I am more protective of my time, energy and intentions. I know much more about respecting and loving myself than I ever knew before.
The lessons are countless. The awareness still come. Doors open and ideas flow with a pinpointed direction to see clearly how to organize and manifest. The ability to create is heightened and a state of calm remains. The jungle transforms. The medicine heals. The Shamans are Angels on the Earthly plane ready to assist in your healing! For this, my heart belongs to the jungle!
I cannot recommend this experience enough. As I write this, my husband is on a jungle trek, deep into the jungle for his own personal journey. He, too, is at Lakshmi experiencing the Flower of Life Retreat, and exploring his own blindspots, his own recovery from the wounds of his life. My heart is full in knowing how much love and support he is receiving, how much he is learning and the man that is emerging from his love affair with the jungle.
Are you ready to change the trajectory of your life? Ready to begin anew? Ready to finally heal those places aching for your attention? There is a way. There is a place.
There is a way and place, deep in the heart of the Amazon Jungle.
If you are interested in participating in an authentic Ayahuasca shamanic journey in the Amazon jungle here at Flower of life Ayahuasca healing retreat center.
We would be delighted to welcome you! To suit the desires of our guests here at Flower of life. We work with both male and female authentic shipibo maestros healers. For more information on our upcoming retreats or any questions you may have. Please contact us at