By Theresa Vigarino
When did we all get so afraid? It’s a question I recently pondered when jumping off a bridge into
a flowing river. I was with dear friends boating on a reservoir that turns into the American River
upstream for whitewater rafting in Northern California.
As we drove the boat under the bridge a week prior, my friend Jon said that many people jump
off the bridge into the water and one day we should try it. This particular day we were back on
the boat in the same place under the same bridge. I challenged him to jump off the bridge with
me.
Every excuse entered our consciousness. First, the water was too cold, it was too late in the day
and we should wait. For some reason, that just didn’t sit well with me. So, after about 30
minutes of back and forth and why we should or shouldn’t do it, I decided now or never. After all,
we said we would. I wanted to jump off that bridge, at that moment, at that time, so I jumped in
the water and headed to shore to climb up the hillside to get to the bridge. As soon as I hit the
water, my friend joined me.
We made our way through sticker bushes, rocks and broken glass to the bridge. I remember the
feeling of excitement, anticipation and fear all bubbling up inside me. For, I have never jumped
off a bridge before, nor had I jumped off something so high from the water before. A classic rock
jumper in Lake Tahoe, I have had the gumption to try difficult things, but this was a first.
After my friend climbed on the railing and jumped, it was my turn. As I stood on the railing,
holding part of the bridge for balance, I had a moment of fear and trepidation almost take me
over. “What are you doing up here Theresa?” was running through my mind. Just then, Jon said
to me, “don’t think, just jump!” So, I did.
It was so fun! After we made our way back to the boat, filled with exhilaration, I had a
realization. Since when did we all get so scared? Now, I don’t just mean fear of trying something
physically adventurous. I’m talking about the fear that keeps us from living our best lives. This
fear traverses over every area of our lives. From making those important sales calls, to having
difficult conversations that must be had, to living a soul purpose and calling, to ending a
relationship, to mending some fences, to moving where your heart longs to be. So many things
we don’t experience because of this deep well of fear.
I remember the moment I stepped off the long boat on the Amazon river and onto the property
of Flower of Life Peru. I had no idea what was in store for me. First, I had no desire to visit the
Amazon jungle because of the obvious: jungle critters. I also had no preparation or knowledge
about the Amazon Plant Medicine, particularly, Ayahuasca, that I was there to receive.
Shamanism was not something I had experienced prior to this first trip in 2017. Actually, I made
the journey with only a 36-hour notice, without even reading about what an Ayahuasca
experience would be like. I was a newborn baby in the area of Shamanic healing and plant
medicines.
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